By Peggy Still –

Who your friends are says much about who you are. Friendships can be perilous or virtuous. It is born in the moment when one says to another, I enjoy that too. But that common point of view can be a bad vice.

In the exuberance of youth most of us have experienced that moment when we first met someone who shared similar interests. It was no less delightful to find someone who shared the same dark side or bad habit. These are dangerous friendships.

The danger comes in the form of indifference to outside opinion when our dark thoughts or actions are justified by our friendships. Confused by wrong perspective and preconceptions, this kind of friendship can quickly disintegrates into enabler or dependent.

Proverbs has much to say about friendship. Fair weather friends are common (14:20), and the wrong kind of companion will bring you trouble (12:26). But a true friend loves at all times (17:17), even when things are bad (25:20). Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm (13:20).[1] C.S. Lewis wrote about this verse, “the next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”

Honesty with the Lord about our friendships is the first step to wise relationships.  When faced with friendship choices we should ask ourselves, will it further a right relationship with the Lord? Will this decision move me forward to the person I am destined to be in Christ? When we answer these questions honestly and act in accordance with the Lord’s guidance, we have used the power of intellect and a new perspective on how our choice fits into His purpose for our lives.


[1] New revised Standard Version Bible




Peggy Still: Peggy currently serves as the Director of Administrative and Client Services for The Fuller Foundation in Pasadena, California. Peggy is a featured speaker in a variety of areas for women including finance, social issues and leadership. She also serves as a consultant to churches and other non-profit organizations in the areas of administration and fund-raising. Married to Mark for 33 years they have one daughter and raised two foster children. Peggy and Mark make their home in southern California.

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